Growing up, we had pets. We had cats and a few hamsters (none of whom I liked very much) but that was the extent of it. I was not raised as a "dog person". To me, dogs were dirty, a little smelly and left their fur everywhere. I didn't get it.
Fast forward to 2008. Hubby, who was my fiancé at the time, introduced me to Boxer puppies. We started looking at pictures and websites and breeders and I fell in love. Those faces and wiggly bums- the cuteness was enough to melt my cold, non-dog lover heart.
So in May of 2008, we got ourselves a boxer pup. We drove to Maine and brought Neely home. Hubby didn't grow up with dogs, either, so neither of us had any idea what we were doing.
Neely, although cute- so adorably cute, wasn't easy to train (read: he was naughty). There were "walks" around the park when he refused to walk. There were eaten pillows and even eaten couches. There was doggy day care and puppy Kindergarten. There were holes dug to no where, ruining any chance of nice grass. At some point, we stopped trying to have a well-behaved dog and just loved the one we had.
Our Neely.
Eventually, walks around the park got easier (as long as no other dog was walking by) and the accidents in the house were no longer . We stopped putting pillows on the couch and just covered up the holes in the grass.
The biggest change in Neely's life came when he became a big brother. When our 6 year old was born, we didn't know what to expect. How would Neely react? He was the center of our universe and soon to be displaced by a baby. We brought home the baby blankets so he could get used to D's smell and let him explore the nursery.
What we didn't know was that Neely would love that little baby boy. Neely would be gentle (mostly) and inquisitive. He'd alert us if D were crying and lay near his crib. He was the best big brother, our Neely. Even when the most attention I could muster was just to let him outside in the morning. Even when I resented his presence and needs due to postpartum hormones and the overwhelming stress of being a new mom. Neely was there, understanding and kind. Patient. He waited out my anxiety, knowing I'd be able to love both my babies again.
Then came our girl. Things were different between Neely and his sister even from day one. There was a special bond there. Maybe it was because Neely was older and more mellow, who knows. He became her playmate, her guardian, her dog.
Both our children counted "puppa" among their first words. Eventually having to learn his actual name was Neely.
Our house was full, our cup runneth over, our family complete. Two kids and a dog.
We found out Neely was sick this past summer. Lymphoma. That news was difficult to digest given his young age and the fact that we just bought a new house with a beautiful backyard and a fence- just for him.
Every prognosis gave him 4-6 weeks. But not for our boy. Our boy wanted to explore his new home. Our boy wanted to leave his mark on our new backyard. Our boy still needed to run.
For many months, there weren't many symptoms. He was his usual energetic, Boxer wiggly self. I wondered if they'd misdiagnosed him. Then he started to decline. My boy, he wasn't himself.
No longer did he rush to greet us as we walked in the door. No longer did he run and play in his big backyard.
Our boy was hurting.
Loosing our first fur baby has been truly heart-breaking. I still pause at the bottom of the stairs in the morning to hear him breathing, I still look to see if his water bowl is full. I still expect him to go running to the door when someone comes in.
The kids struggle to understand and I struggle to explain. "This is the second person whose died in our family" remarked my six year old- too young to understand so well what loss is.
"This is why I can't have a dog" many people have said. I get that, I understand that mindset. But, when I look at all he gave us in his short life- all the love, the laughter and the joy- I can't help but think he deserves these tears.
This struggle is worth the reward of his life. Of his presence in our lives. The loss we feel today is equivalent to the love we had for him.
There is a void, an emptiness in our home and in our hearts.
There will be other dogs for the Dionisios, of that I am sure. There will even be other Boxers. But there will never be another Neely.
Rest easy, my pup, you were the first dog I ever loved and your Boxer paws left a mark on my heart. 🐾❤️
There is a void, an emptiness in our home and in our hearts.
There will be other dogs for the Dionisios, of that I am sure. There will even be other Boxers. But there will never be another Neely.
Rest easy, my pup, you were the first dog I ever loved and your Boxer paws left a mark on my heart. 🐾❤️
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