This past spring, I walked into the school counselors office (aka my friend and therapist for whom I don’t have a co-pay) and asked her “What does mental health mean?”.
For a phrase that’s used so much, in so many ways, it was an illusive concept to me.
We chatted about the word along with related concepts such as social-emotional and self-care and mental illness. But I still wasn’t at a true place of understanding.
Fast forward a few months when said counselor-free therapist- friend recommended I watch Oprah Winfrey’s special “The Me You Can’t See”.
This is a brilliant series co-hosted by Prince Harry (is that still his title?) about mental health. It made the concept so much more concrete for me so I thought I’d share what I have learned.
I think “mental health” should just be called “health” or better yet “wellness”. But not the kind of wellness you buy from a direct sales company that comes in a tube.
Wellness- are you well?
As I look back at my own life, hindsight clearly shows me when I’ve been well and what I’ve not.
When I became orthorexic, it was about control. I lacked control in my life so as a remedy to that I attempted to assert control over my food. My mind was unwell but it was my body that suffered.
And when I struggled with binge eating disorder, it was in an attempt to numb strong emotions that were causing me so much pain. My mind was unwell but it was my body that suffered.
For too long I thought my issues were with food not understanding it was about my mental health.
For me- maybe for all of us- that mind/ body connection is so strong that any separation seems fictional.
So all this time, I thought the habits and routines I had in place kept my body healthy but truly they are keeping my mind healthy too.
Consistent exercise, walking, sleep, rest, routines, nourishing foods, solitude and connection. These are the keys to my health and wellness- mind and body.
There are others, of course. Gratitude practices, podcasts, writing and singing. Also books, so many books. It all works in harmony to keep me balanced.
Some would say that all of these things I have learned to do to take care of me would be called “self care”. It’s how I care for myself. It’s how I care for me mind. How I maintain my wellness.
Another big take away from this series is normalizing that every single person struggles with their mental health on some level. None of us are immune whether we recognize it or not.
Lately I’ve been leaning into the notion that it’s not an on/ off switch. It’s not wellness or illness. It’s a spectrum. A pain scale like they give you in the hospital.
How do you feel today? How are you functioning? On a scale of 1-10.
And then I guess it’s our job to respond given the data we receive. I guess that’s how wellness is maintained.
I finally get it. I have a deep understanding of “mental health”. I just think we are using too many words to talk about the same thing. Not to mention the stigma associated with it all.
If I could offer you anything it’s this- watch the Oprah and Harry special and be well.
