In my corner of the world...

This world is rough, lately, it seems to be getting tougher.

Around every corner there are sad stories - abuse, abandonment, people struggling, terrorists, refugees, war, bombings - the list is endless.

And now all that bad news is delivered immediately and unceasingly to the device of your choosing. Social media, news outlet updates and even TV. 

It's very easy to get sucked in. 

Also, thanks to social media- every Tom, Dick and Harry has the platform to exercise their 1st amendment right at free speech and spew their opinions all over Facebook and the Internet.

There are memes and videos and statements and quotes. All espousing one "truth" or another. It's all propaganda and it's infuriating.

This is a huge energy suck for me. I get wrapped up and angry when I see things that are so against my own beliefs, when I follow these tragedies, when I'm hooked in. 

I feel hopeless and angry and sad. And I don't like to feel that way. So what's my solution? What am I doing to protect my energy and my corner of the world?

I've stopped. I've stopped watching the news and reading the updates. I refuse to participate in the fear campaigns or spew my own opinions. I've  unfollowed those who do.

Instead, I choose light. I choose love. I choose compassion. 

Instead, in my corner of the world, I am praying and setting a higher vibration of faith and hope and peace. 

And when I see others doing the same- my heart is lightened and full. 

Am I naive? Am I ignoring reality? Perhaps. 

 I was recently listening to a podcast from Shawn Achor who is a positive psychology researcher. He was describing some of his research that says we are bombarded with so much information and our brain can only process a certain amount of it. Therefore, we get to CHOOSE the information we take in. We get to process what we want to process and ignore the rest, essentially creating our own reality. And better yet- we can even "train our brain" to process, to see, to take in the postive. 

Maybe I'm naive or maybe I'm just training the brain for my own survival. 

If I die tomorrow, I don't want to leave a life that was scared, fearful, closed off. I want to open up, love, radiate light- despite the darkness. 

In my corner of the world, I am focusing on the good- on the peace and continuing to pray that the ripple effect takes hold and spreads that love. 

These problems won't be solved overnight but imagine if we keep that vibrational frequency high- imagine the differences we could make each and every day, in our corner of the world. 

Be the change you wish to see. BE the peace, BE the love. 

Personally that sounds much better to me than being fear and anger and hate.

Just sayin....

The holidays without him

Tis the season!

Walk into any store, peak into any catalog and it's clear... the holidays are upon us. 

It's the season of festive celebrations, family and traditions. It's a time of joy and love and peace. 

But for those grieving the loss of a loved one, this time of year can be especially hard. 

This year we celebrate the holidays for the second time without my Dad. Last year, just six months after he died, it was difficult. 

There was lots of trepidation going into the holidays. What would it BE like?  Who would eat the turkey skin and sit at the head of the table? Where would we get the pies without his connections to Lisi at Fall River Country Club?

There were heartfelt toasts and lots of flowing wine to ease the unease. There were tears, in private, because that's how we do.

This year, we've lived these holidays without him before so there is more of an opportunity to be reflective, to lean in. As the season approaches, I find myself thinking of him more often and with a heavier heart. I feel the weight of his loss all over again. 

So still the question lingers, how do we celebrate the holidays without him?

And the truth is- we don't.

He's there in the loquacious vocabulary (ahem- bullshit) used by my older brother during after dinner debates.

He's there in the quiet way my younger brother takes it all in before stating his position. 

He's there in the passionate (read: loud) way I communicate my opinions. Also in my bleeding-heart political leaning.

He's there in the quiet. The brief moments between a belly laugh and a child screaming that allow us all a chance to remember. 

He will silently slip into the last pew at midnight mass to hear me sing "O Holy Night" and in a whisper I'll hear "Beautiful job, Laurie Ann".

He will linger on the edge of the craziness as his grandkids tear open their presents.

He'll be standing next to my mother, shaking his head  and giving us his classic tongue click (ttttkkk- man I can still hear it) as he listens to untold stories of our younger and wilder days. 

In the need to soak up and soak in all that the holidays bring.  In the need to appreciate our crazy family that surrounds the table. In the need to embrace, to enjoy, to be together- he's there. Because now we know, tomorrow is promised to no one...

Last year, as we floated through the grief of the "firsts", these things were hard to see and even harder to appreciate. 

This year it seems clear, there are no holidays without him, for he is here. Always. In us and around us.

 Through us, he's here. ❤️

Annual Christmas family picture circa 1989 as evidenced by my big bangs

Mindfulness and Creationism

I wasn't planning on writing this week and then I realized some of you may be disappointed beyond measure and so I felt compelled...

This Saturday I had the pleasure of attending a professional development workshop run by a friend from high school, Tracy Affanso,  entitled "Mindfulness in the Classroom". It. Was. Awesome. 

Not only did I get to attend the PD with one of my BFF's having some really great conversations (and gossip) but I was also privileged to be surrounded by teachers trying to incorporate this very important topic in their crazy, busy, overwhelmed day. 

It sort of felt like we're all on some noble mission of good. I'm sure there is a Star Wars analogy for this- I'll have to ask my husband. But I digress...

The workshop was amazing and I came away energized and ready to try some new things. Two points really resonated with me:

"It's practical, it's not magical" 

Tracy had said this at the beginning of the morning and I just loved it. I think in life we look at a new idea, program, curriculum, diet, fitness program and think it's just going to be magic! Then we get frustrated and disenfranchised when it's not. When the kids don't learn to decode through osmosis, when you don't loose 15 lbs by taking the magic pills, when the squishy seat and heavy work don't suddenly make Mr. Ants in his Pants sit on the rug. 

There is no magic pill or program. What we have are strategies.

Using mindfulness techniques will help our kiddos reduce anxiety, learn to take a deep breath and notice the people and things all around them. It may help to break their thoughts of a rough morning or the video game they are going to play when they get home and bring their brain back to math. These are things I didn't learn until I was in my 30's. What a gift it would be to give to our students this, the gift of NOW!

But- "it's not magical- it's practical" and a practice (refer to last weeks blog post :)

"Your kids will learn mindfulness if you are also mindful".

This one hit home. Much like the post I wrote several weeks ago about "you can't give your children what you don't have". This one puts a mirror in front of your behavior and forces you to look. 

Many times, I'll gather a group of kids for speech therapy pull out, get them situated at my table, give directions, take attendance, check my email, write a note to a parent- all at the same time! I believe it's called multi-tasking, and a side effect of a very busy schedule, but it's still not ok. I'm not really  with them while I'm doing 10 other things.
So how can I expect my group to mindfully participate in my lesson when I am not mindfully participating in my lesson?

Ouch- I've got work to do there! Luckily, I can start first thing tomorrow morning.

This workshop could have been a week long and it wouldn't have been enough time to fully explore this topic. But my brain is going in a Mindful direction now and there's power in inertia! Stay tuned...

And now: creationism. 

I'm not too crafty or artsy or creative. 

At least that's what I would have said in my fixed mindset!

This summer I (under the guidance and close supervision of my sister-in-law) refinished an old bureau into an amazing TV stand and it came out ah-maze-ing 

And now I've been bitten by the bug of creativity!

 

I have a pre- Christmas season gift making extravaganza planned and it all began today...

Now I realize this doesn't look like much...yet, but will be remarkable! And save me $40 I would have spent on Etsy. For me, the key to crafting is to find a teacher, a mentor, a coach. Someone who knows what's the f they are doing to help you along the way. 

And isn't that just a good idea in life anyway...