"It's not an emergency"

So I've survived. I've survived my boy getting on a bus and heading to my school. I even survived working 4 days myself. Exhausted and sweaty (why is it so hoottttt) but I survived.

If you've never worked in a school- all the "back to school" posts and "I'm so tired" teachers- sound ridiculous.

 I mean, most people didn't just have a 2 month vacation. Most people worked all summer. 

What are you whining about?!

But let me assure you, facing a new crop of kids who likely forgot how to listen, walk in a line, and even read over the summer is exhausting!

The beginning of the school year is a bit different for me. As an SLP, I don't stand in front of 20+ kids and "re-train" their brains from day 1.

Instead, I sit in front of piles of schedules and IEP's and evaluation paperwork. I coordinate a week of service delivery  with 15 different teachers and service providers. I look for ways to squeeze in 

speech and language therapy or inclusion in between Math, ELA, science, social studies, art, library, music, physical education and health all while avoiding 

lunch and recess and ahhhhhhhhhhh...

On top of that there are new students' whose IEP's are either missing or need to be input into the computer, there are kindergarten kiddos to be screened (lots of them- always lots of them) and those evaluations you never got to in June. 

September is usually a very stressful month for me because of all this craziness. I forget what I love about my job because I'm not actually doing anything I love about my job! Not a fun re-entry.

But this year I had a revelation.

This year- 12 years into this gig- I realized ... It's not an emergency! Everything will get done, it always does (usually within the mandated timelines, too!) but- it's not an emergency!

It's not an emergency. 

No need to run around crazy or lock myself in my office with tight shoulders and a stress headache. 

No need to sneak to the teachers room to find naughty things to eat to comfort myself.

It's not an emergency. 

And because of my lowered stress and increased productivity- I managed to create a workable schedule in 1 day. 

1 day!

It used to take me 2 weeks (and that's when I thought it was an emergency!)

I'm not sure if it's our social group big problem/ little problem practice rubbing off on me- or if it's experience or perspective- but I get it now.

The to-do list doesn't need to be checked off before it's written, and the big pile of evals eventually goes down, and the IEP's get written, and the kids get their speech time. 

It all happens as it should and it's not an emergency!

(Insert deep breath here)

Happy long weekend to my tired teacher  friends! Rest your feet and your voices.

If you need me, I'll be writing goals in attendance sheets 😳

The other side of "back to school"

For the past 12 years "back to school" has been mostly about me. About a new year, a new caseload, a new adventure. When I can't sleep on "back to school eve"- it's because I'm anticipating the excitement and energy of the First Day of School!

This year, however, this year- all that changes drastically.

This year my boy starts kindergarten. This year, my boy joins ME at MY school and starts kindergarten.

Separation of church and state no more.

 He will walk down the halls I've traveled for the past 9 years. My friends and colleagues will become his teachers. My students will become his friends. 

I've known this was coming. We attended K orientation in May and even moved to the district! But somehow, the gravity of all of this has escaped me- until now...

There are supply lists and directions that need to be followed. There are letters from teacher. There are bus routes and schedules that need to be organized. 

Suddenly, back to school isn't  just about me anymore!

I will now share my day, my building, my school with a walking, talking piece of my heart. 

I can't help but wonder what will happen to all the lines I drew in the sand anticipating this co-mingling. 

Will I peek in at him at lunch and help him open his snack? Will I watch him on the playground as he learns the expectations of kindergarten? Will my heart burst as I watch him learn when I'm  in his class for inclusion?

Separation of church and state was so much easier to handle!

The women who planned my bridal shower and baby shower, who showed up at my house after my boy was born, who have given me mom-marriage- and life advice will now be entrusted with the care and education of my boy. They will sit across from me at parent-teacher conference and hand me tissues as I listen to the wonderful (or terrible!) things he's done.

My boy will get on the bus on September 2nd and begin a magical journey. 

He will walk down the halls I've loved for 9 years and meet the most amazing people I'm lucky to call friends and colleagues. 

They will smile and welcome him- because that's what they do.

 They will nurture and teach- because that's what they do. 

He will sit in assemblies and music and art and go on field trips.

 He will make friends and get his feelings hurt.

He will get boo-boos on the playground and bellyaches at lunch. 

 He will laugh and learn and grow. 

He will fall in love the building I've loved for almost 9 years...

 

and I get a balcony seat to watch it all. 

My heart will burst seeing this magic!

So while separation of church and state was so much easier- it's the hard stuff in life that brings the good stuff. 

I don't think I'll be much help at bus duty on September 2nd, Mrs. Brooks- I'll be the mom sobbing in the corner!