New Year, New You? No need...

New year, new you. How many times have you read or heard those words over the past few weeks?

I'm calling bullshit and re-framing this concept: New Year, More You!

The thing is- whether you're into the spiritual shit or not. Your mere existence in this world is a miracle. You were created in perfect imperfection to be, just as you are, either by a divine force or scientific egg-sperm cell multiplying thing (choose your own story).

 So the world doesn't need a different you, it needs the you that you were meant to be. The you-est you you've got, the authentic you.

Who is the real you? What does that mean?

 

I don't know. That's your job to figure out. 

But here is what I've learned about me- I am most authenticly me when I am living in line with my intentions. When I am treating my body and my mind and my spirit with the respect and love it deserves. When I am nourishing my whole self. When I am taking time out to do the things that make my heart sing. When I'm trusting rather than worrying, when I choose gratitude over disappointment and silencing that negative voice in my head. When I forgive myself and others. When I let people be who they will be instead of being angry about who they are not. When the cracks in those walls I've built around my heart widen so that light shines through. When I am acknowledging and reflecting the light that shines from others. 

You may think a "new you" sounds better. Maybe a "new you" can be more positive or thinner or more organized or less anxious.

But how many of us are actually succeed in this "new you" endevour? 

Most of us get so overwhelmed with the concept, we give up after a few weeks. 

Why?

 Because a "new you" isn't the way. 

Instead, dust off the old you, let that light shine through and be MORE of the you that you are here to be. 

Because the real you, the light in you, is NOT negative, would NOT treat your body or mind or spirit poorly would NOT be anxious or judgmental or angry. 

The light in you would not say "build a wall and keep THEM out" because there is no them, there is only us.

Some of us have strayed so far from that light. Sometimes we build a wall inside ourselves to keep that light out. It's a coping strategy, it's fear. It's fear that keeps us binging on cookies, and blaming others. It's fear that keeps us addicted to drugs or shopping. It's fear that keeps us looking for the "new you". 

But it's love and light that will heal that fear. Yours. 

Just as the sun in always shining above the darkest skies, so is our light always shining behind the thickest walls.

Crack open that shit and let your light shine. 

Let your light shine- be more you- and see the light in others. It may be dim, it may be hiding behind some thick-ass clouds, but it's there. 

Be MORE you! Do not look outward for the answers. For the change. Look inward, because it's all there. The answers, the peace, the light and the love.

Be still and know. You are so good that the world doesn't need a "new you" it just needs MORE of your good stuff ❤️

Leaving you with a few of my favorite quotes courtesy of Pinterest and Instagram to help prove my point 😉

"We cannot give our children what we don't have".

"It is clear from the data that we cannot give our children what we don't have. Where we are on our journey of living with our whole hearts is a much stronger indicator of parenting success than anything we can learn from how-to books"- From The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

 I've been on a journey of self-improvement and self-understanding for quite a while. Inspired, no doubt, by Oprah circa 1995.

In fact, I originally told my grad school roommates (in 2002) that I did not want to live with them because I wanted to 'grow as a person' as only living with random people would allow me to. I decided to live with them after I toured their sick apartment in the Charlestown Navy Yard in Boston. Ironically, I grew more in those two years than I could have ever thought possible. These women are my war-buddies. We survived and thrived together. And I mention this, because they still tease me about that comment 'grow as a person'. I was 22- who says that?!

Anyway, this journey has been long but in the past year I've gotten more serious about it. I've put in work. I've read lots of books and blogs, listened to podcasts, resumed journaling and just tried to dig up and dig out. Rediscover my emotions and intentions. Live fully and love fully. One of my greatest teachers along the way has been Brené Brown and her beautiful books. I just began The Gifts of Imperfection when I came across this quote...

 "We cannot give our children what we don't have".

Those words struck me like a thunderbolt. We want so much for our children. We want them to be confident and strong, to see their worth and try new things. To be kind, compassionate and forgiving. We want them to be brave. We want them to know success and learn from failure. We want them to thrive, to love, to shine.

But-

 "We cannot give our children what we don't have".

We can talk and teach but until we own it, until we live it, until we breathe it. They will not have it.

This lessons pulls my heart strings especially with my daughter. My beautiful girl. My girl who is in the 50%ile for height and 90%ile for weight. My girl, who at her 3 year check-up was told to "focus on healthy behaviors" because of these numbers.

My girl is a beam of light. She has a wicked personality. She's funny, and fresh. She's smart as a whip and sweet as pie. She's a devil and a love. She lights up a room when she walks in. THIS is what I want her to know. Inherently. THIS is what I want her to believe. I want her to know that she is inherently worthy of love and joy because she is light. I want her to walk into a room and shine her light.

I want her to move because it brings her joy and eat because it satisfies her. I want her to "focus on healthy behaviors" not because some antiquated bell curve insists upon it but because she feels better when she does. And who doesn't want to feel better?!

But-

 "We cannot give our children what we don't have".

So, in order for this to happen. I need to see MY light. I need to know that I am inherently worthy of love and joy.

Now. Today. As I AM.

Not 10 pounds from now, not when I've had a "good week" of eating. Not when I've gotten a good review at work. Not when I've finished my to-do list.

Now. Today. As I AM.

My wholehearted journey took on new meaning when I read those words. I realized I wasn't doing this for me, I was doing this for them. For the two thems that I brought into this world. For the thems that I worry and wonder over. For the thems that I love more than I ever thought possible.

I will give them what I have. And what I have is self-love, worthy-ness, a light to shine in this world. What I have is faith and trust and joy.

So pardon me if my Facebook shares and my IG posts seem a little touchy-feely for you. I'm working on a gift for my children...